Projects Taking Flight....

Good Morning out there!

Well, it has to be a good morning out there, somewhere, just because we've had weeks of grey doesn't mean everyone else has!!

The fellow at right was from the 'southern hemisphere' exhibit at the Science Museum of Minnesota. Tiny little menacing guy. He looks like he's either busting the best prehistoric moves ever, or he just surprised everyone with 'No One expects the Jurassic Inquisition!!'

He makes me laugh :-)

I actually did some fun, albeit messy sketching there, trying to decipher the skull shapes and bony functions. Couldn't get close - this one was.....tall, among other things. But it never hurts to try ;-)

Today I am time-lining my project. It feels like it's coming together in a pattern of 'go', rather than no-go, so am adding an extra dose of discipline to the current goal of 6 hours/week studio time. I picked up a planner dedicated to studio hours only, which sounds silly, as I am indebted to Cozi on my phone to save my skin WEEKLY, but for concentrated planning, I need the touch and feel of paper....having my finger on the pulse of time for the month, and also it's more visually compelling to see the perceived space, rather than the intellectual knowledge of numbers and days.

While I have been - roughly - hitting the numbers, it's not been specific enough or stumble-free. Today, I am going to schedule the next concepts, block out the days that No work is going to happen, and see where I can up the time. Even though this fall will open up my days better with my daughter in school all day, I'd rather feel ahead of the game by summer, rather than feel compressed later on.

In trying to be ahead of the game healthwise, I've started pinning articles on pinterest for health and motivation. I was trying to do one day weekly of yoga, but my lousy planning has me at home with my to-do list, instead of in CLASS! Just another way that no routines = no progress!! I did perfect my lemon-cucumber-mint infused water recipe -  the trick is to let the ingredients infuse no longer than 6 hours, to keep the bitterness out. It doesn't taste too sweet or tart, but wierdly enough, it helps keep me from drowning my fatigue in coffee - i reach for it if it's in the fridge as easily as i do for the coffee pot!  It's even better to me in summer time.

Off to work, to plan, and to make sure things happen without stress. That sounds like a good way to start a weekend, right? I wish the same to everyone :-)

s.

Thundersnow.... in April....

A moment to say that even for Minnesota, this weather is ridiculous....sigh.

Taking another studio day today to work on fantasy-inspired art. Waffling between a more cartooney style, a more illustrative brushy style, and a more realistic - classic style. So, today I will lay out the waffles and see which is the prettiest.

I'd post a pic, but just imagine what could be a pretty spring green color in the grass, light yellow-green buds on some now very confused looking trees... and wet, slushy snow falling from the sky.

Cappucino, studio, and quiet time.

off we go....

have a good day out there!!

s.

All Things Bright and Beautiful in the Studio

a vignette in my favorite combo, blue and more blue.

It is bright today. And yesterday, and even the two yesterdays before that.

Not precisely newsworthy, but Minnesota seems to have ditched a horrendous case of cabin fever by NOT still having.....14 inches of snow and grey skies. Last year (which I barely remember, due to the puppy-centric spring) we had snow until MAY. Shiny days with brown grass, brown trees, and brown reeds around the pond are gold, in my book. But to make up for the drab, here are some SPARKLYS!!!!

I've been able to stick to the ~six hour studio time commitment pretty well. I am trapped at gymnastics with my kids for an hour-fourty five twice a week, Plenty of time (though zero quiet) to sketch.  I've found the mornings that work best for sitting down in the office. I can't get used to calling it the studio yet because it's still only half done. Today may be a good day to bribe my daughter to hang out with me in there while I organize. (Unfortunately, the price could be high. Lately she's been talking cell phones. I told her I'd listen to her when she could spell it.)

sketch from a quite blurry pig photo.

Cleaning and organizing aren't my forte, but it's necessary - the trade-off is me being more settled and at-the-ready to do more of
this.


Friday will be the last studio morning for the week, and today is YOGA. I am not good at yoga, I mostly go to provide comic relief to my talented, athletic neighbors. They are dedicated and seem to know what they are doing. I don't particularly enjoy it, but I enjoy it more than running, biking, tennis, or anything else that keeps you running. Certainly, it's more fun for me than football. Eventually, I am hoping to at least forestall a dowager's hump by having one or two core muscles. I'll report back when I am 78.

So, it's off to chug some more water, wake some children, and feed that dog. Probably should see if I can find the yoga pants too.

Have a grand Thursday, and enjoy whatever sunshine comes your way :-)

S.

Hello......Spring?

Good afternoon.......er, at least I think it is. The sky and air cannot decide to do clear and cold or.... grey and cold....or windy. It's been such a long time between posts....time to catch up.

Spring in Minnesota is more of an April Fool's joke than anything else. We had snow this morning, glare ice on the driveway and all. Since it's not blizzards and tornadoes like some parts of Minnesota, I am going to still call it a win. Since it was 61 F. two days ago, it just feels miserable by comparison. But, as always, there are worse problems to have.

Ready or not, the geese are back....

Geese are coming back, the robins look betrayed, and the blackbirds are sounding off each morning. That makes early treks outside with the dog at least slightly more pleasant. The soundtrack to the coming warmth is a nice teaser all the same.

We are on spring break, I've begun work on a new project (one I am not at liberty to fully discuss, yet. It needs more groundwork and a comprehensive go-no-go discussion. But that doesn't mean the odd sketch or two won't pop up here...)

India ink, graphite, watercolor, on bristol paper

For clarification, the sketch at left is a study of light through a gemstone in a 'fantasy' setting. Not creepy owl eyes, the assertion from my six year old daughter notwithstanding! My current plan, relative to the project, is to shoot for six good hours of sketching or painting per week, in hopes that some weeks will be impressive.... to cover the weeks that are not.

Reality is important, here. Remember my embellished
pointe shoe project? That took MONTHS longer than I had expected, the trouble being I know practically nothing about beading or sewing! Had I done a mock-up, and talked to the right people, I would have finished several weeks sooner. I am delighted with how they turned out, but let's say there was blood to go along with the sweat, and I'm in no hurry for a project like that again!!

peridot, pearls, moss, glitter.

Happily, the current project requires work in areas I am quite comfortable with, though somewhat out of practice. Let's just say that by upping my sketching time, I am redeveloping callouses on my fingers - a good sign of effort, if not a commentary on outcome! I am happily in the fun part of the project, the concept art, so my focus will be on playing with techniques and styles for specific subject matter, to find out what will play together, stylewise, and what sounds cool but simply will not fit. With my current schedule, I don't foresee posting updates here more than once per week, but aiming for one post a week is a good touchstone to track progress.

Speaking of progress, the work I began on the office (months ago) has resulted in a half-emptied, more spacious area to use my new drawing desk, which I adore. I'd be well advised to using NON sketching time to finish the overhaul. We spring-cleaned the hell out of the house last week, except for windows (pointless, right now), and just when we felt ahead of the game, the dog got herself skunked. May be the first real inkling she's had that Not Every Animal is her friend (no, she still has not given up on 'playing' with the cats.) So, we then cleaned her up, and now I am gazing at my floor, which needs a mopping. I think I will do the entrance today, and the rest tomorrow. I am thinking about dinner.....homemade tomato sauce needs to be started in.....hmm, ten minutes ago, if I want it with meatballs tonight! Time to start the sauce, then mop.....says the procrastination monster.

I have also procrastinated on final drafting the poem I wrote a few months ago....even I am tired of winter right now, so that may be on hold until July. The business venture I am working toward actually dovetails nicely with the current project, as it's going to be healthy to test out my working routine on something more low-key than a 50+ hour/week effort! Part of the effort has a lot to do with healthy habits, so it's off to guzzle some water, shelf the computer, make some sauce, and tackle the floor.

Here's to hoping to warmer weather, gentle April fools, and an easy spring break for us all :-)

S.

Happy New Year to You....(and to my neglected blog)

Good morning!

I hope you are warm, and safe, and calm inside.

I hope you have a new year ahead with more light, more liveliness, more intentional moments, less unplanned 'life storms'.

I hope you try harder, and win.

And try harder, and learn.

And try even smarter after that.

And never quit trying.

We feel like we are living when we try.


I wrote a three stanza poem two days ago (will post it after revisions....not sure when, though) and am working through a to-do list.

So far, the list is slightly on the winning side, but to be fair, the list is a little hefty. In a good way.

Time to make breakfast and welcome my family into the new year.

I hope for you it's a good one :-)

s.

just a quick moment in time

slowly and surely wins the race...

Good November to you all :-)

I am sitting here with a view of the pond, the White Queen on t.v., a pile of tissues at my side, and a storm on the horizon. I've been keeping myself busy, and now there is a payback in the form of allergies. As my father-in-law is currently recovering from a surgery, I am confident that I could have a worse cross to bear!

The image at left is one of the embellished pointe shoes I am working on, as part of a fundraiser for Ballet Royale and the Twin Cities Ballet. Although I designed the shoe,  I am here to tell you I wish someone else had. Someone else who knows something about.....just how much work it is to sew jewels to a ballet slipper!! Also, someone who knows when enough-is-enough for the glue gun! 

I am happy to post the original design, as it may elicit sympathy for my headfirst plunge  into the idiocy of glue-guns before needles! I'd hoped to have the shoe complete by mid-September, but oh, the best-laid plans of mice and men.... and me. The shoe pictured above is finally ready for forming and stiffening (and if ANYONE out there runs across this post and knows of such things, please feel free to send a comment!) 

In other words, I am not a fabric artist. I never have been, and I have nothing but sympathy and respect for anyone who is!

Typing even this little has taken it out of me, but I think the first snow of the year may recharge my spirits, maybe even my energy? Hopefully I will reappear here more frequently with project updates. The shoes will hopefully be done and out of the house by the end of the week......i wish. I wish. I wish.

There. Third time's the charm.

Off to....whatever it is I am meant to be doing next. Rehydrating and tidying up my sadly scruffy kitchen. Anything accomplished after that is purely a bonus :-)

Happy fall, stay safe if the storm is coming at you as well, and enjoy your week.

S.

Summer Whirlwind

And I don't think I'm the only one.

Good afternoon, friends, it's been a long while. Hot days, educational wins, parenting fails, neighborhood fireworks, dog chaos, garden chaos....you know.....summer.

Being a bit south of the Twin Cities, we've managed some EPIC rainfalls, smokin' hot days, and dangerous heat indexes. Commensurately, our cucumbers (as well as most herbs) have had explosive growth, the tomato leaves are so thick the fruit can't ripen, and there's been a stretch of days the kids were inside because of...... too damn hot.

In between this, I've overscheduled the kids on summer 'camps', we've been eating more salad, but have done much less cooking. And now we've passed midsummer. Both kids now eat bread with olive oil, but now that it's not too hot to bake it, it's too cool to rise...

Artistically, there are a few wins. I've taken some tiny steps forward on the big project (it has domain names now!) and I'm taking more time to sketch designs and ideas, and solidify product lines. I've also had some small - perhaps teeny - talk about marketing work. Happily, the marketing work would be something I have complete aesthetic harmony with, so that's alright. Might get right in the way of the project, or, conversely, impel me to jump-start it though, so....yeah. Nice pinch of serendipity to go right along with the "WTH?"

Writing? Six mini-short stories complete (first draft), and at least 2 more at the halfway mark. And, being that they are MINI-shorts, I thought an introduction might be good so I wrote one of them too. When we are past 'draft', it's possible I can start feeling ok about posting some here and there. The short stories correlate to the artwork project, (at right is the background of a multi-layered image in progress. SLOW progress) so I am investigating publishing options for them - Somerset Reader may be one, unless that publication went on hiatus ;-)

Really, that's some of it. Most of it, for now. Time is flying, so I must flap to catch up. There is something funky in the air and I really could use a moment to grab it with two hands and hang on for the ride.

I'm off to get that moment now :-)

Take care, and treasure the rest of your summer days. I'll be checking in more frequently again, there is rather a lot of interesting going on right now ;-)

Enjoy the good weather while it lasts!!

s.

Metamorphosis....an update......and a story...

That's what this spring season is about, isn't it?

Catepillars into butterflies, heat into rain, dirt into weeds, puppies into dogs, schoolchildren into....little energetic tornadoes?

Dabblers into Artists. Artists into Mamas. Houses into HomeBase!

Summer is coming reluctantly. I was awake an hour this morning before it.....dawned on me (SORRY!) that the sun was Still. Out. We've had rain, drizzle, storms, more rain. Buckets of humidity, wind. Today, for awhile, there will be sun.

What comes with such rain? Naughty, chewing, unexercised puppies (since no one wants to be outside, not even the dog) weeds (since no one wants to be outside in the mud), and schedule-creep - thoroughly unchecked.

Everything is off.

With everything unbalanced, unfettered (except the dog. She complains loudly about her fetters) and a little askew, why, what a perfect time for me to ramp up efforts on the portfolio/business work!

A story-snippet was posted in March(maybe? April?) about the wizard Hrothbart and his daughter - above is the first painting-sketch to come of it. I finished the first draft of the story (it's a mini-short) and need to develop the painting a bit further, but it's a nice start.

I also attended a meeting with Ladies who Lead - Twin Cities meeting last night. It's a networking group for local business women.

It is NOT sitting around, pounding cocktails, and moaning about work-life balance.

It IS sitting around, sipping/nibbling whatever while making relevant contacts and connections, cheering on each others progress, and meeting women at different stages in their business life with a lot to share, and the generosity to do so. And learning :-) I had fun, learned a lot, and made several contacts (and some new friends!!) that should help me with some roadblocks I am encountering. I had two goals in attending and I surpassed both of them - It's worth noting that one of my nieces is a member, and I only heard about this group through HER facebook page! That for my tendancy to disparage FB on a routine basis for being time-wasting - my time was used well last night :-)

Armed with my contacts from last night -(including SCORE - free small business advice, no idea why I didn't run across them before!!!) today will be a 'git 'r done' kind of day. I need to do birthday-party shopping, dog walking/training, send a few notes to the women who shared their time with me last night, more garden planning, and a bit of catch up on laundry - we were lucky to have visitors last friday night and I've been guilty of laundry-slacking ways since then! The dog also needs a vet visit, the kids need appointments to be made, and I am pretty sure I have to call the folks doing our tree replacement - we are not the only ones complaining about the bad winter. Our tree up-and-DIED in protest!

Speaking of protest, below is the follow up story to the snippet on Hrothbart (our owl above). The point of view is his daughter Odile. She is the antagonist in Swan Lake (or, Black Swan, if you take your ballet in movie doses rather than live events :-) and is birdlike. Birdish. And Not a Nice Person. In this snippet, she is kvetching about her position in life, her father, and her sense of self importance, right after she sent her father out to find her dinner.

meat.


Odile - Talon Phase
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Simpering.

Slinking.

The great Rothbart, sliding out the door of our - well, hovel, really - like a wounded cat.

Not the heroic, owlish mage. Not what he'd have you think years ago. But claim him as sire I must, for all the good it brings. Decades ago, maybe, I'd still been able to trade on that fierce name, coquetting out from that broad wing like the tender chick I never was.

Feared, certainly. Envied? Perhaps.

But we had racks of meat to spare.

Now, no more than a scavenging rook, he heads out and back through the woods like a homing pigeon. Rat - or a brace of frozen voles - clutched in his clawed and shrinking grasp. Offering the lowest stock to me - the summit of his glory. How he dares this insult, I'll never know. Trapped with me daily, the gods only know why he is free at night,  while I am tethered to the floor, but I'll winkle out the secret soon. My father is not the only creature who may come and go at night - the eyes I may borrow are legion.

And to the last, they are red as blood.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There. A spoiled chick, complaining about her parent. An unhappy fairy-tale beginning for an uncertain end. May you all go about your day with better grace and at least a bit more joy :-)

Happy Friday, everyone!

In the Weeds

The great garden overhaul is gearing up!!!


Mother's Day weekend brought us to the nursery to pick out plants and flowers and seeds. This weekend, I expect some serious raised-bed building and soil prep. This weekend we are also graced with, hm, a ballet recital, soccer practice, scouts, dog school, and a visit from my mother.

Hence, the usage of 'in the weeds'.

Also, view the plot. Everything except the happy dark green chives at left are WEEDS. Smothering and yanking will be the plan, then cover the plot with newspapers and set up them raised beds (4, in fact), fill 'em with dirt, and let the great veggie adventure begin!

But wait, there's more.

We have flagstone 'mini paths' coming off the porch, and they look a little.....

bare.

So, there is spiced-orange thyme and irish moss waiting to get installed between/amongst them.

Peonies and hydrangeas are supposedly on their way up, but that will only happen if the dog stops trying to eat them. Which couldn't happen any quicker, our beloved shepherd doesn't BELIEVE me when I tell her those naughty peonies are POISONOUS!

Speaking of the naughty shephard, she is one reason this blog is as neglected as the garden.

She has given herself a tummy bug so I am now cooking home meals more for her than the rest of my family! We get take out, the dog gets pumpkin-and-rice with boiled chicken or ground beef mixed in. There is something wrong with that picture..... 

Anyway, we are Mid-May and hopefully had the last snow day of the year LAST WEEK, so we should be able to plant soon. We hope.

In the meantime, I hope your spring is a sunny one, your days are good ones, and your pets let you get a goodnights sleep.

It makes more difference than you think.

have a beautiful week!!!

s.

update, quick and dirty. Literally.

I am heavily considering mud.

We've broken most of the snow - snow - damned snow - records, for April.

The garden plot thickens. Ash, clay laden mud. Snow. Rabbit dung.

The German Shepard will likely address that whole 'vole' and 'rabbit' issue. This summer may be the year my children are officially horrified educated by mother nature. A necessary sadness, at some point. Probably the point where I am saying well, at least it isn't your cats.

I have little in the way of cultural notes. Neko Case "That's What I Am" and "Give Me Something to Remember" are new finds, but, I think, a year old or so each. The "Hunger Games" movie resonates with me quite strongly - I don't know if it's just Jennifer Lawrence doing a brilliant job, or my unease with culture lately, but it strikes very close to home for me. I've seen most of it at least three times, and while I would NOT recommend it for young viewers, I certainly intend to read it.

I have real issues with culture right now.

Because i have a goal of spreading light, not darkness. Positivity, rather than negativity, I have to consider seriously what is on my mind for a later post. But for transparency, I can flat out state I am disgusted. A layer of naivete may be to blame, but I am heartsick at some of what is hitting the news. Most of what is hitting the news.

I am not writing right now. The last poem I wrote was addressing reality TV. "Hunger Games" does a fair job of addressing what I was too incensed to write convincingly. Subtly. But it doesn't go as far. And the lower I feel pushed by what 'passes' for culture, Popular culture, especially, I am pushed to question, over and over, "who raised these children".

Raising my own - falling short of my marks, and setting new ones - occupies my time as much as the new dog. That leaves little room for reflection. As....adrift as I am, as a result, more pointed posts are to come. Just not now.

But if you are feeling unease, unquiet, well, you certainly are in sympathetic company.

The weekend draws near.

Pull the plug as much as humanly possible this weekend. It's like a warm cozy bath for your mind, and heart

Good night,

S.

Going to the Dogs

My life is rather upside down right now.... I have been away for a spell, as instead of free time, I now have a Zelda.

In January, my mother said farewell to Minnesota, and left me her lovely male Maltese-Terrier mix to watch, until she could send for him . His name is Bailey.

Bailey is a lovely, affectionate, funny, twelve-pound fluffball with limitless curiosity (esp. regarding cat-bottoms) and limited common sense. My 40-odd pounds of brother-and-sister-cats have limitless spite, and limited tolerance for bottom-sniffers.

This unhappy equilibrium came to a head in February, when Bailey got too friendly with the cat bottoms in a closed space, and brought my cats mounting aggressions to a bloody climax. Twelve pounds of fluff is no match for 40 pounds of tag-team, outraged hissy fit with claws, and both Bailey and I ended up seeing a doctor that night. Both of us got heavy-duty antibiotics - which went nicely with my guilt trip, as my five bites helped me imagine the poor guys pain.

The cats?

Not a scratch on them.

The Brawl (as it is now referred to) hastened my mother's efforts to get her boy back home (she succeeded wildly, the dog flew first-class to AZ and now has more fans than I do). This meant that my husband and I had to keep our promise to let our kids get a Dog of Their Own.

For one reason and another, we are now the proud parents of Zelda Emerson Von Sable Rock. German Shepard-Piranha mix, extroardinaire. She is cute, funny, affectionate, and has a somewhat consistent herding instinct. I can't say much for her taste in food, but I will say that when the weather behaves (unlike today. Sleet/snow mix. In April, folks) she gets a bit of exercise and is pretty well behaved.

When the weather misbehaves, so does Zelda.

Consequently, today we are thinking that Sunday puppy-school can't come fast enough.

Regular blogging may be on hiatus, but if I can recover my energy sometime soon, I'll post pics of the little menace.

With that, stay warm, stay safe, and do little somethings for strangers. Bought a starbucks for the gal in the minivan behind me today and drove off giggling - it felt terrific.  This week, we can all use some of that.

Take care,

S.

A Happy Day

Good Morning!

Sogginess abounds here, as the 10 inches of snow is starting to melt away. Since I've started thinking out my veggie garden and started bulbs for paperwhites, so I am not so sad to see my snowflakes go.

It's my husband's birthday.

Jon is beyond dedicated, he is bright enough to warm our hands on. His love of family is our rock. End of story.

Tonight we are going to see Gaelic Storm play St. Paul, along with our son and his cousin, our godson. Tomorrow, we celebrate all our March birthdays in his family together - it's a great way to honor our family relationships and celebrate together :-) And, I get to 'think spring' in putting together a salad for tomorrow's meal, so I am going to enjoy tearing through springy-veggie ideas (although, I honestly feel like just roasting up a ton of fingerling potatoes, seasoned with olive oil, s&p, fresh parseley, garlic, and rosemary. I know it's not a salad, but dang it's good!!!!!)

Last night, another story idea came to me just as I was falling asleep. I wrote it out this morning and it is rough, but mostly complete. And it is a good feeling to have a third story finished, start to finish, for my mixed-concept project. That's another happy note for the weekend.

Our nephew is staying with us tonight, so I have some more tidying up to do, and ensure we have breakfast lined up, as tomorrow will be sleepy for all of us. Off I go, but I wish you a beautiful spring to come, and a lovely weekend besides.

Onward, my friends :-)

s.

Humility

The world works in mysterious ways.

It's funny to me when people discuss the dark nights of winter. In Minnesota, generally, we have enough snow cover, and a good chance of minute ice crystals in the air, that any light we do have gets bounced around like crazy.

Light "pollution" from above And below.

I meant to have the office done by tomorrow. I dug into it pretty well initially, and then a good-sized chunk of life dug into my week. And I re-remembered some useful lessons in humility that set my perspective back to "real time".

About as real as it can get.

By "humility" I mean a real sense of scale, where self importance is concerned. And vanity, and time, more than anything else.

A movie I am getting (ahem. Somewhat) obsessed with is "Into Great Silence". It's a documentary on the monks of the Grand Chartruese (Carthusians, to put it another way.) Director Philip Groning shot there for 6 months -after waiting 16 years for permission to do so. Fitting, as his initial idea was to make a documentary about time, and it's passage. Ironically for me, minutes lately take on a persistent and speaking importance, whereas a trait Groning had picked up on was the fearlessness of the monks - the sense that whatever the morning brought was to be embraced or, perhaps, accepted calmly as part of Gods way, maybe. I could be paraphrasing badly, here.

Sometimes, the sense of knowing we are small is a relief, other times a pressure-point. Right now, strive for fearlessness though I might, I am feeling the pressure of the worth of my minutes. Well spent, and poorly, alike.

Were I to total them up, I am afraid I would find too many spent on myself, compared with what I have devoted to others. Not a bad way to motivate my tomorrow, but utterly useless to redeem the past. Still, nice to know that such personal mortification may have a useful role. I do not think I am  going all drama-queen here either, by the way. We all know what our self-indulgences are, and mine is so very precious.

Perfect, isolate, moments of hoarded time.

Maybe one role for humility comes at a small price of shame.

I'm not awake enough to pursue this twisty thought train much further. I'll put my awareness of weakness to work, to feel comfortable with how my time is spent. It comes from a bank with no insurance, after all.

And there's no way possible to pay it back.

So here I go, off again, to strive once more to use time wisely. If time comes at a cost, and humility is the debt, at least the striving can make headway in the ledger :-)

Good night, sparkly, snowy world.

Give yourself a glittering tomorrow, filled with cherished time.


S.

Mr. Insomnia, This Had Better Be Good

Good, well, early, morning to you all.

Here at 'freezing-yourt-tushie-off', Minnesota, I have cleared the last figurative hurdle in beating down a four-day pesky head-cold/brutal allergies session. And am sipping french roast while laptop-gazing and noting the occasional snowplow lights. And am pondering how much french roast will be needed to get me through the day.

I usually get allergies when highly stressed/not getting enough sleep. Even if nothing else should come of it, I am surely setting myself up for an interesting Tuesday!

The problem with getting up (coughing) unexpectedly is that the new project on my brain presents too many things to think about. Challenges that need to be looked at down the road, but that may be that I am just focusing on those challenges because they are less immediate than my daily challenges. Basic ones - nutrition for the kids (she still doesn't like many foods), exercise (my son needs like 2 more hours of it Every Day), basic discipline and routines. Mommy stuff (well, This mommy, anyway.)

The kicker is that when my son can't sleep, I tell him to think about Fun things. Plan out fun projects. Pretend you're fishing with Uncle Jeff and you caught a whopper!! When I try the same thing, it turns into a to-do list.

So, this is what I came up with:
 - make coffee (obviously. done)
 - follow another link or two from The Paris Apartment, or another French-themed blog (inspiration)
 - Plan today's meals (maybe use some of that inspiration)
 - greet my husband with a real breakfast
 - see which of the kids still has a fever, then feed Them their breakfast
 - drink the other half of the coffee pot.
 - work on the office as planned. The goal is to make it more usable by next Monday for filing and painting the project pieces. By way of explanation, I should say that not even my daughter can sneak in there without tripping or getting stuck, and she has the tiniest feet in the house!! To be fair, there IS a dog kennel in the middle of the floor ;-) And a cute dog that sleeps in there at night.

So, there you have it. A plan.

Not much of a plan, I grant you. But it should take me through the next 5 hours or so.

-

-

Oh.

Are you kidding me?

Yawning?

NOW?

(sighs. shakes head)


Right.


Gonna be a long day indeed......

Make it a good one!

S.
 

Bubbling

Bubbling over, to be honest.

And that isn't Always a good thing. Think pasta pots and stovetops. Think wasting a third of a bottle of tasty prosecco if/when I stumble before opening it, and two shakes of a good bottle later, you have less than you'd wanted.

But right now, it is a good thing. My brain is thoroughly a-bubble and it's been productive (not something I can usually say.

My two short stories have feedback trickling in from a few generous beta readers (THANK YOU LADIES!!) and I am putting together checklists and action items to keep things moving forward.

WHAT The heck for?

I am putting together a mixed-media portfolio of sorts, including assemblage/collage art. When the portfolio is complete, there are several different options I am considering for product development. And I do have a specific idea of what this will entail, but until I can pound out a business plan, it doesn't bear mentioning here. Happily, the web is full of HIGHLY encouraging resources.

As with writing, business doesn't get anywhere if you give up. Because of my blessed situation at home with the kids, it is to my benefit to pace myself and keep our world calm and stable. If I charge into something, I will burn myself out, and then EVERYthing will suffer. And I won't stick to my plan.

In practical, real world terms, I am going to be drawing and painting more, brushing up my business correspondence skills, and trying to do everything More efficiently at home, so there is MORE time for my loves and for my art. I am digging into research (so far I have about 25 pages of notes and pictures) and following up with practical resources online. As things unroll, I will post visuals here, so you can see the busyness pay off. I will leave you with a scrap of story number three (actually, it's the entirety of #3 so far, but it is fun :-) and there will be more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Paternal Duty, Discharged

My daughter sends me out, a withering glance heavy as a shove across my shoulders. I shrug them into the feathered cape, while she nods twice. Abruptly. Tilts eyes sidewise and looks down her nose. Says to my back, almost out the door, "Don't think of coming back without meat tonight. I don't care whose. Even if it takes you till morning." 

I half turn, and bow low to her. She, my only child.

"Bonne nuit, ma chère fille. Bonne nuit."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


There you have it. Lucky number three.


Have a lovely, productive day :-) I'll check back in next week, and let you know if I've already fallen into a self-dug pit. At least, if I do, i think it will be a pretty one!!

thanks again for coming by!

S.

very quickly, mini-news at the orchid house

Hello lovely strangers!

 I am only posting in quickly to say that I have hit a strange burst of creativity and have written two short stories this week, and started the seeds of a third. They are MINI stories - damn near 'flash fiction' and are thematically linked.

They are part of my 'multiple media' project I am burbling away on, and it's an exciting feeling to, um, Finish Two Stories.

I sent them off to the appropriate audience (er, I hope) for beta-reads, and should have some feedback. My readers are at varying levels of maturity and proficiency so I should get a nice cross-section of viewpoints.

Little bitty victories, but victories nonetheless.

I'd hoped for some quiet time with my husband tonight, instead we have a very Awake little boy. If I want to be Half as alert in the morning, it would behoove me to hop upstairs and see if everyone finally made it to sleep. Quiet time will have to wait for.....another quiet moment in the orchid house, I guess.

oh well.

I'll let the thrill of creativity surf me through tomorrow, and hope that can fire me up for less imaginative, but more important, parts of the real day. It's likely I will get a few 'Huh?'s", and perhaps a few...."hmmmms", for feedback,  and that's okay.

if I don't put it out there, I won't know what I have. And if I don't figure that out, it doesn't have legs.

And I'd rather hear that from people who presumably like me than complete strangers!

So, off to the next tomorrow.

Sweet, creative, and not-remotely-singed-dreams to you all ;-)

s.

Back to our new normal

Good morning, friends -

Those are snowflakes, not spots of white dirt on my window...

I have a few minutes here to point out that good old fashioned winter days still hit the midwest. It is snowing huge fluffy flakes, we've had a week of murderously cold temps (-30F wind chills. Mars is colder. Manitoba, too.) and we've all been pining for a break in the chill so we can go out and play.


When we can't go out and play, we get crabby and bored.


I am never a fan of crabby, but bored has it's upside ;-) I'm not technically ever bored, but if I get in a rut, the creative mode refills and, boy howdy, I get a headfull.

Basically, I have written 2 and a half short stories that came about via some visual research. I have an interest in developing decorative papers, and they ballooned into story lines :-)

Very short, sweet, and a bit funny, so now I don't know what color this kettle of fish is (a book? a multimedia book? a Digital multimedia book?) but it's keeping my brain busy. Happily, I discovered evernote - a management program that can save images, notes, webpages, websnippets, links, and contacts each into it's own 'notebook'. So, that's coming in handy!

I have a fresh pot of energy (seriously, not, today, a euphamism for coffee) so I am going to drink a big glass of water, exercise for a bit, and then get the day rolling. By the end of the day, I have more inspirations and I collect them in each notebook as the kid fall asleep. (I sit in a rocking chair, between the rooms at night by the lamp so each can see me if they need to). And then I spend the next day trying not to daydream. If this becomes more concrete, it will be fun to post the stories for you, but in the meantime, an orchid house update:

every routine shot to hell ;-)


most of us cleared of winter colds


orchids FINALLY budding, after years of waiting (feeding plants weekly. Who. Knew.???)

Orchid buds and snowflakes. January. Minnesota.

officially daydreaming about the spring gardening


volunteering at school (sometimes 3x per week) and I must be doing ok, no one has thrown me out yet.


That's all I can ask for, really.


I hope your winter is treating you kindly, and that you are safe and warm :-) Happy winter dreams to you all!


S.

This little light of mine....

Ah, at last.

Weeks late.

But, I did say I would post a picture of an ice lantern.

That was right before our spring thaw.

Which was followed by something like -22 C.

So, not ideal ice lantern weather.

There are two, courtesy of some mostly-useful cheap thriftstore buckets.

I was left with lumps of ice that were quite pretty (from weighing down the interior cup for the candle cavity), but I couldn't come up with a use for them. Watering the plants, I guess.

Anyway, they seem to work better than the half-orb bowls I did last month, they block a bit of the wind.

Minnesota winters are, in general, breezy.

We'll be going up and down the thermometer in the next two weeks, so whatever melts one day will be utterly dangerous all over the sidewalk the next.

Alright, back to the mayhem. More than usual (tame mayhem, by most standards. But mayhem and frazzle inducing nonetheless.) Among other things, I am sincerely wondering if I am smart enough to keep ahead of my kid.

Oh well, a bit of worry is as good as caffeine when you need to get something done :-)

Good night.
Stay warm.

Shed a little light.

The world seems to need it right now :-)

s.

'tis the season indeed!

hello, wanderers!

We did some dashing through the snow tonight, dropping off wine and Christmas cards for friends and neighbors. The kids are tossing and turning in bed, and I am considering the Big Event next week. Christmas cards finally in the mail today, and everything!!

Jon and I have done little of our holiday preparations 'together', except the tree and the house decor. So, tonight was a great prelude for tomorrow night's wine-swilling-present-wrapping 'extravaganza.' We have one kid with the sniffles, one fighting a fever of 102, and some serious baking, cooking, and gingerbread-house construction still to come. Sounds like....quite the weekend, doesn't it?

Most people I've been speaking with have been trying extra hard to 'find' their Christmas Spirit this year. We saw the Nutcracker Ballet (absolutely Brilliant!), went to the Christmas concert at our church (it's a big ol' church. and the music was Sublime!!!) and set up the house. Seriously, it sounds laughably simple, but up until tonight when I was actually hugging and shaking hands with our friends, I have only had a, thin, thin sense of the holiday. Buying gifts for people Almost got me there. It usually only takes a peppermint mocha to hear my own chorus of 'Jingle Bells'. My kids excitement does help a bit, too. But between the snow drought we lived through up until a few weeks ago, and the angst we have all been trying to either work with or slough off, my spirit has really struggled, and I don't think I am alone.

Christmas can be an almost mystical event, for some. My father and his wife have more of a secular approach. My in-laws are enthusiastic and joyful when we get together Christmas eve.  I've loved decorating the tree with both religious and whimsical ornaments, and I do some good toe-tapping to the 'Jackson Five' Christmas Album. I played the Celtic Woman Christmas album last night, and that has helped pull it 'together' a bit more. When the music inspires you toward more of a 'giving' heart, that seems to put me on track. Isn't that the whole point of St. Nicholas, after all?

Tomorrow, my mother-in-law, my daughter and I (and maybe I will get lucky and my mom will come with?) are going to a Christmas 'recreation' at Murphy's Landing. I am excited to see what the earlier settlers did to make the holiday special, on a limited means. Normally, my husband and I budget away and save throughout the year for Christmas. This year, caution and planning went....completely awry, so I am thinking that a solid lesson in 'pre-commercial Christmas' is timely indeed!!

It's so much more fun to be generous at Christmas. It's so much more fun to have lists and budgets prepared, and know what you can do to make someone smile, and have it wrapped and at hand by Christmas Eve. Frankly, that's a luxury few can afford - it takes, what, one car repair? One unforeseen medical bill? One freak natural occurance - that can burn through that holiday budget. And the best, tightest planning might not be enough. Does that - Should that - diminish Christmas?

I hope not. I hope that if life is handing people lemons, they have a killer recipe for lemonaid in their back pocket (or a handy bottle of tequila and some salt!!). I hope that families facing horrible financial luck, or repeated strikeouts in the job market can still see Christmas. For family facing grief and loss, I hope they can face it hand in hand, and don't have to cope with it alone.  Christmas 'promise' can feel like a burden, if it's the wrong promise.

But if we carry the message of hope, of redemption, Christmas can bring strength. My first Christmas without my brother is something....I can't even remember. I don't know how I spent it, but I doubt I would have made it without friends and family. Looking back, that's the greatest gift I could have been given at the time. It didn't make the pain worthwhile, but it made it easier to carry. Looking at my life now, with the terrible emptiness I fought against, my sense of blessing, my sense of hope, has more ground.

I wish that for everyone.

My ice candles (a Martha Stewart project, if you must know) made it, more or less. I'll try to post one 'good' picture of their light, before the big day. And if you wander by, I hope their light brings a small spark to you, of what the holiday can be about. And.....if the picture totally sucks, and they look, erm, um.....cheesy, may you have a huge laugh at my expense. :-)

happy Christmas!!

S.

Comfort

If you are like me, you have spent the weekend in various states of discomfort.

You've wept at the news, or maybe dove straight into facebook arguements - probably with complete strangers. You've shed tears at the sound of 'Silent Night', or just been consumed by unease.

I can't imagine facing this type of tragedy without hitting the above notes, although I do know there are scads of people better at handling grief and pain. I am certainly not proud of my soapbox-jumping, although I give myself points for honest passion, rather than a dispassionate consideration. No real reason for that stance. Maybe I am trying to check my honesty?

I cannot type further without laying at least one thought out, to whomever may read this - i haven't the years, or wisdom, or eloquence, to write about what happened.

I can write about reaction.  I can write about intentions.

I want to be comforted so badly right now.  Being a believer, I want to feel the Divine hand on my shoulder, reminding me that we won't walk through this alone. Also being a believer, I have Not Yet stopped with the eternal 'Why'. That's my spiritual side.

My inner child is going about this a little differently. She wants her warm cozy slippers, her glass of ice-cold baileys irish cream, an ice-water chaser, and the cozy blanket. She wants her husband's shoulder to cry on, a ride in a carriage through the sparkly park in St. Paul behind a pristine white pony, driven by a smiley guy in a top hat who doesn't smell even a little teensy bit like rum. The horse, by the way - obviously - doesn't smell either. And the snow is falling, there are no homeless people screwing up her little escape, and no one in Minnesota is wearing wet cold shoes tonight. My inner child wants to curl up in a ball and nap all afternoon tomorrow until she stops feeling blue.

Clearly, no one has told my inner child that tomorrow is Monday.

But you know what? My inner child is the one that can Demand that we don't treat it like a Monday. My inner child is often the one that gets my a$$ in gear to make the day just an itty bitty bit better. For someone. And while the gameplan would be that my husband, kids, mother, and even pets are the first people that I step it up for, I want the attitude to go with me everywhere. I want to remember this at the intersection, on the road, and in the waiting room at the dr. office. I want to remember to treat everyone - even at the gas station - like it's a holiday For Them. I might annoy people (er, ok, that's probably not a might. It's probably a Fact.) but I am hoping that I will mostly be extending - genuine - courtesy and kindness.

Courtesy and kindness, here in the midwest, changes nothing for any family connected to the tragedy. Courtesy and kindness don't make one minute of grief go away. They don't pay a hospital bill, they don't erase a cold and hideous truth. But the time we have on earth together is the only time we are guaranteed. And I can guarantee that this wallowing in discomfort may have a long-term good - change is usually uncomfortable, and a whole lot of people feel the need for something in our world to change. But I also think that living with courtesy and genuine concern for those we touch is not minor. Somedays it can change the whole picture. Not every day. But I do know the Opposite - rudeness, sarcasm, self-interest - can turn a good day pretty flat for me. And it's happened to me on days that were already really, really bad.

It's quite the opposite of comfort.

I'm going to treat my spoiled inner child right tonight. I'm going to get my ice-water chaser for my Bailey's, make coffee for the morning, and tidy the kitchen. Then I'm going to sleep - a little more easily - with at least one gameplan for tomorrow. Even if I screw up other things, forget to make a phone call, miss the post office stop, I resolve to do it - at the very least - with courtesy.

And kindness.

Goodnight :-)


s.