Thursday, January 12, 2012

Today, I am Sharing With You

good afternoon!

(lower case, as i am contemplating humility today. or is that receiving humility and staring it down? ah, well.)

yesterday was one of them days i have no business whining about, but do. mainly, because i don't put myself out there much, so if a car part falls off, on the same day that my children don't get a nap, or just have a bad day too, well, i am at a loss, people. i become 'she who does nothing right, and cannot take it like a grown-up!'

this state explains a lot about my personal challenges, outright failures, and near-misses. Again....this ain't whining - or even, vent-worthy -material. I grew up in houses that had, by turns, mice, holes in walls or floors, broken furnaces with Bonus missing insulation, and as a young adult, some of the deadliest street addresses in town. Now, i live in a reasonably affluent suburb, in a newer home, with basically healthy kids, a husband I couldn't have even dreamed up (he's that good!) and stability. All that right there should keep the panic-fairy at bay, right?

pa-leeeze. i am living proof that one can allow themselves to get seriously worked up about anything and everything, at the drop of a hat, because there is one thing i am trying to imbue my life with, and that one thing is serenity. which i know for a fact one cannot buy on eBay (yes, I googled it!). And lately, Every Damned Time (woops, here come the caps!) i try to order my life, and make a little more time for moments to practice self-care, so i can face adversity with that elusive S-word, i end up on an Olympian, hurdle-intensive obstacle course (to my poor, self-pitying mind, that is.) Last week, i decided my daughter's preschool time (on Friday) was best spent stretching, doing breathing exercises, and a wee bit of yoga. I even cut back the coffee that day and filled a big bottle of water.

Full disclosure: i friggin' HATE exercise.

i leaned forward in myblack and hot-pink trimmed yoga pants, stretching toward the carpet. Back straight, i lowered my head parallel to the rug, thinking something like 'this isn't So bad'. And then i - unmistakenly - smelled cat pee. Not before me. Not behind me. Under me. On the seat of the yoga pants, in fact.

Should have mentioned i was in the middle of our cheap@$$ oriental-look rug.

Half a bottle of vinegar, one visit with the cat dr., and $100 later, i gave up on the whole bloody 'serenity' idea. Got a major workout scrubbing the floor, though.

so, yesterday, i attempted to get all my grocery shopping done while dear daughter was at pre-school. we hadn't done any mega grocery maintenance since before Christmas. i decided that even though i didn't have as many coupons as i needed, and only had about half the list down, it would still be better spent time to go in the morning.  Halfway there, part of my car fell off.

Serenity was Not how i met that particular moment either.

worse, i was at the point of 'you know, right now i would pay good money for someone to Style me as a hopeful-though-flabby, yet serene-looking yoga model. And then take a picture of it so i would have something to aspire to.' taking the ridiculousness yet further, i used so much 'calming' scented body lotion after my shower, i even acquired a few decidedly Non-serene-looking little red bumps on my arms.


Clearly, i am looking at this All. Wrong.

so, i am going back to the basics.

drinking water, taking vitamins, looking back at my past, and seeing how ridiculous these concerns look (a Wonderful reason to blog them, come to that!). And starting the day with a prayer. nothing fancy, just thanking Him for the troubles i have. For the husband i have, and the melt-down prone, exhausting, brilliant, inquisitive, and tirelessly amazing children we are graced with. Because my troubles are not even small potatoes. They are barely Tater Tots.

time for perspective, methinks.

And on that note (the note of Gratitude, that is), i want to share some marvelous finds with you - for crafters, artists, bloggers, parents, etc. (i.e. everybody.....or is that e.g.?....)

(no one is paying me for mentioning this stuff. heck, they are not even asking! it's just links I am loving right now :-)

FABULOUS art findings, vintagy-stuff, papers, stuff, oddments - Manto Fev - all collage/scapbookers be warned - i could blow my entire retirement here without thinking, because she is So Reasonably priced....

Smart and Crafty blogging from a mom who is doing lotsa things i wish i was doing. doing them better, too... - be present, be here

Glennon at momastery  - an in-touch, hysterically funny, honest mama indeed! mighty fine essays about life. mighty fine writing in general!

my Kitchen Witch story here - ok, not My story. i submitted a character sketch (Merry, the kitchen witch) to the Talented, naughty, funny as hell Stephanie Beck for a Facebook contest, and won! she wrote a story  "Coffee, Tea, or Freaks" based on Merry, the Kitchen Witch, as part of her Freak Sorority series. short, action-packed fun, and you don't even need to read the prior stories to follow this one :-)

today's list of yet-to-do's is short, simple, and reassuring. to me, that deserves all the gratitude i've got.

i have a sneaky feeling that way might tread a little closer to serenity.....


No comments:

Post a Comment