Friday, July 6, 2012


good morning, to you who are there :-)

most people tend to be a little out of touch around the fourth. I am wayyyyy more out of touch than usual - and it would almost be fun to say something like I am 'focusing on myself' or...redecorating the couch, or some damned thing.

i have instead been more than a bit caught up in my cousin's health struggles. She is a dialysis patient who has had horrific health problems, that have gone un-addressed for far too long. So, Mayo Clinic - St. Mary's - is doing their best to shore up her health and restore her.

She is terribly fragile, but has been terrifically strong. The praying knees are out in force, because it's healthier for her, and for us, than pacing. Her mother - who is very strong, and very soft, and very dear to us - is going through a hell that is unimaginable. As is her brother and his family.

Our extended family is huge, and when that happens, statistically, there is 'more'.

More weddings, births, illnesses, divorces, accidents, blessings, fights, and love. When I was much younger, I - and some of the rest of us - thought we were almost bulletproof. My maternal grandfather (his sketch is in the gallery :-)) was a ferociously protective family man - he'd been an only child, didn't want that for any child of his, so he had nine. He was adamant that his children make up together from fights, whether they were old or young. And he had the misery to bury two sons and a grandson - my brother.

It would be easy to dwell on the past sadness while walking through the present. But, focusing on my sweetheart cousin is the most important thing. Her mother and brother are the most important things.

They make my current frustrations shrink down to realistic size, but also make me regret that my energies are divided. Doing the best I can, on all fronts, whether I make mistakes in the process or not, will at least help me sleep at night.

I hope that for you as well.


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